Nine Years...

...I keep track.  My brain and my heart still cannot help it.  Nine years since my world changed forever.  Nine years since caught in a collapse that I had seen coming at the time, but denied, and with all my heart and body tried to hold back.

It was a moment that would change my life forever -- and these are not just words I type.  If what happened today nine years ago did not happen: my life would be drastically different now.

I did it wrong.  I know that now.

What you say -- does matter.

And I wonder even if I did it different if it would have made a difference somehow.  Or if, by the time this day came to pass nine years ago, it was far too late to stop it.

I was younger.  I was naive. But I still believe in the things I believed in back then.  The things I believed in were not the problem.  And I have difficulty feeling those things now.  But I am stronger now too. And will not give up on me.  I will not.  I will not give up on being happy. 

It is vague for you all and I am sorry. But this is a marker for me.  Getting it in physical lasting form that says I am still here.  I survived.  Its been nine years.

I read somewhere recently, actually on the blog of Angie Smith, something she wrote in a blog post:

The roots go deeper than you think
You only see part of the page
You are still a young tree

Effectively, that is what the words she wrote said.

They stunned me in that moment.  I needed to hear them.  To see them and read them.  They go up there to me with the 'No Truer Words' Catagory.  And this year... this year I needed to hear them.  And already I've been reflecting on them alot.

Would I change what happened then if I could?

I don't know.

I have learned so much through it.  Became a different person through it.  Met many other people because of it.  But I just don't know if I would change it.  Because I sometimes miss parts of the person I was then.

I survived.  I look back on it now and read the notebooks I kept back then, now.. and my heart just breaks for the girl whom I was when I wrote that at the time.  I remember her so vividly.  And all her pain.  It is raw and real there in those pages.

But she survived.  She didn't think she would.  Never doubt the power of prayer, family, and friends.

I don't really think everyone leaves an age behind them as the next birthday hits them.

Somewhere inside me, there is still a 15 year old that hurts and feels with 15 year old feelings.  There is still a 22 year old.  There is still a 27 year old... and so on.

And each of them make us who and what we are now.  That's what I think anyway. Who would have imagined then that I would come this far?

God bless, everyone.  Goodnight.

--Debrah
04.17.2018

Do Good Anyway

 I've posted this here before, but it's been a while.  I am thinking though, it is time for a reminder for me.  A time to post it again.  
---------------------

People are often unreasonable, illogical and self centered;
Forgive them anyway.

If you are kind, people may accuse you of selfish, ulterior motives;
Be kind anyway.

If you are successful, you will win some false friends and some true enemies;
Succeed anyway.

If you are honest and frank, people may cheat you;
Be honest and frank anyway.

What you spend years building, someone could destroy overnight;
Build anyway.

If you find serenity and happiness, they may be jealous;
Be happy anyway.

The good you do today, people will often forget tomorrow;
Do good anyway.

Give the world the best you have, and it may never be enough;
Give the world the best you've got anyway.

You see, in the final analysis, it is between you and your God;
It was never between you and them anyway.

          --Mother Teresa.

Do it Anyway:

People are often unreasonable, illogical and self centered; Forgive them anyway.

If you are kind, people may accuse you of selfish, ulterior motives; Be kind anyway.

If you are successful, you will win some false friends and some true enemies; Succeed anyway.

If you are honest and frank, people may cheat you;
Be honest and frank anyway.

What you spend years building, someone could destroy overnight; Build anyway.

If you find serenity and happiness, they may be jealous; Be happy anyway.

The good you do today, people will often forget tomorrow; Do good anyway.

Give the world the best you have, and it may never be enough; Give the world the best you've got anyway.

You see, in the final analysis, it is between you and your God; It was never between you and them anyway.

--Mother Teresa

We Pray for Children:

I read this on another blog. Of course I will re-post it. I hope you will too.

A Prayer for Children
Written By: Ina J. Hughs

"We pray for children
Who give us sticky kisses,
who hop on rocks and chase butterflies,
Who stomp in puddles and ruin their math workbooks,
Who can never find their shoes.

And we pray for those
Who stare at photographers from behind barbed wire,
who've never squeaked across the floor in new sneakers,
Who've never ‘counted potatoes,'
who are born in places we wouldn't be caught dead,
Who never go to the circus,
who live in an X-rated world.

We pray for children
Who bring us fistfuls of dandelions and sing off key, who have goldfish funerals, build card-table forts, Who slurp their cereal on purpose, who put gum in their hair, put sugar in their milk, Who spit toothpaste all over the sink, who hug us for no reason, who bless us each night.

And we pray for those
Who never get dessert,
who watch their parents watch them die,
Who have no safe blanket to drag behind,
who can not find any bread to steal,
Who don't have any rooms to clean up,
whose pictures aren't on anybody's dresser,
Whose monsters are real.

We pray for those
Who spend all of their allowance before Tuesday,
who throw tantrums in the grocery store,
and pick at their food,
Who like ghost stories,
who shove dirty clothes under the bed,
And never rinse out the tub,
who get quarters from the tooth fairy,
Who don't like to be kissed in front of the carpool,
who squirm in church and scream on the phone,
Whose tears we sometimes laugh at,
and whose smiles can make us cry.

And we pray for those
Whose nightmares come in the daytime,
who will eat anything,
Who have never seen a dentist,
who aren't spoiled by anybody,
Who go to bed hungry and cry themselves to sleep,
who live and move,
but have no being.

We pray for children
Who want to be carried,
and for those who must,
For those we never give up on,
and for those who don't have a chance,
And we pray for those who will grab the hand of anybody
kind enough to offer"

April is Child Abuse Prevention Month. Please Repost, Please Pray.

THIS IS WHY:

Yes, I shouted that. THIS IS THE ANSER FOR PEOPLE WHOM ASK ME WHY NOT ADOPT KIDS IN OUR OWN COUNTRY. This is the body of a 3 year old girl whom is -- by what can only be described as a blessed Miracle -- still alive. Three years old, weighing only 11 lbs.

Her parents just adopted her from an eastern Europe country. They found this the first time they undressed their little precious daughter and the moment their plane touched down in America on March 17 they rushed this child to the hospital where it was found that her little body was already shutting down, no longer receptive of any food and she continued to loose weight. A tube had to be placed directly into her intestine to prevent stomach reflux. This little girl - Carrington - is lighting a fire across the net and in the hearts of people all over the world. I understand kids in the USA need homes and by far I am not out to deny them in fact I encourage it and may adopt from foster care myself one day. I understand that international adoption is not for everyone. But please -- do not lash out at those whom it is for and ask them why not adopt from their own country. Their hearts have been broken for a child on the other side of the world. My heart is breaking for her - and this little boy too:



This little boy is -Kirill- with the mommy and daddy whom have battled so long and hard to go across the seas to adopt him also from an eastern European orphanage. When they presented their case to the judge she told them no - that they could not adopt him because she felt that kid with Down Syndrome was better off in a mental institution.

Maybe maybe someone should slap that picture of Carringon's little body down in front of the judge and ask her flat out if she thinks that is what is better for him, because, that all I see in this -- that her choice will allow this to happen again. If she argues its just one case -- no, its not. Kids DIE of malnutrition and neglect in these institutions and orphanages over there ALL THE TIME. All the time. This is just ONE precious case that has the chance to be brought to light.

"Do not withhold good from those to whom it's due when it is within the power of your hand to do so." -- Proverbs 3:27

Someone needs to remind that judge of that Proverb too. If she is doing so she has no right to let her personal feelings on this matter interfere or I don't feel she should be allowed to have the position she has.

Please understand I write what I write because I am on FIRE about this. I do not mean any disrespect for the families involved. [The children's names are linked to support blogs if you click on them.] I hold them in my prayers and I hope you do too. Also please think of going to get one of these kids if you can, or donate to them if you can. They need you. The are all precious little Kirill's and Carringon's...

Nick Vijicic

I need to post this. I don't know why. Maybe for myself maybe for others. Loud and clear there is more than just one message in this. This is living proof of God's glory on Earth. So often I ask these same questions in this video. Oddly, it confirmed all I already felt and knew -- but sometimes we need to hear and see it again.

Thank you Nick Vujicic for being so awesome and inspiring and giving in sharing your absolute love of God.

About A Small World:

Ok, have you ever really thought about the words? So many different people, so many different languages --- all --- the same --- song....




Look beyond the Disneyland part of it for a moment and really listen. Have a good day all!

Also among those called "No Truer Words"...

"Every now and then we hold in our hands the power to change someone's life. Never in our own strength, but by the leading of the Holy Spirit. There are occasions when we have the opportunity to make a profound difference in the life of another human being--whether it be a child, an elderly person or anyone else. God just gives us those incredible opportunities to be His hands and feet on this earth."

--http://www.nogreaterjoymom.com/2010/01/our-big-news.html

Yeah! Another quote of 'no truer words', this one goes with the post about Mindy below. Someone please go and save Mindy...

Among those called "No Truer Words"...

"...our purpose on this earth is not to see what we can get out of it, but to see how much we can give."

--Thought for the Day; http://the30dayjourneyforhope.blogspot.com/