I Think I have Found Her...

I sometimes check in on kids waiting to be adopted - just to look and to pray that they get their homes.

But a few days back I saw a little picture and I've struggled with when, how and if to mention it here. Knowing it may all come to nothing - I think I have found her but I am not sure. She fits the 'feel' of what I have been feeling, if that makes any sense? The age is right, or will be by the time. She is domestic and the area she lives in right now is right, her favorite things feel like what I felt. I can't stop staring at this picture.

But I am not ready.

Only God knows for sure if this is her and all I can do is pray, prepare, keep moving forward and have faith that I will know in time.

Have You Ever Wondered...

...what it would be like to live with HIV, yourself, or with someone you know having it, or parenting a child that has it? There are people that do every day.

Not too long ago, not even as long as last week, I was contemplating the thoughts of adoption as I continued to make an adoption site for a friend of mine and found myself realizing I could handle adopting any sort of special needs child, Downs Syndrome, Cerebral Palsy, Blind, Def, FAS, Missing Limbs - any of them, they are children of God here the same as a 'typical' child and were put here to teach and learn just as much as the rest of us, ... but, shamefully, flipping through more pages of possible disabilities I found myself thinking I would have to draw the line on adopting an HIV positive child - that, was something I thought I could not do.

I afraid at the thought, as some people are, at the thought of that 'impossible'. And yet, there were all these little faces of kids born hiv positive - that road was for someone else, I thought.

The hardest part I thought those kids would go through was being an adult, as a child you live in a child's world - you don't realize people's fears of you or the 'limitations' society sets. But as an adult you do. That, for these kids, is when they will need family for them most.

Within a week, I found myself wondering, what if I had HIV? What would I do then? How would I live? What if someone I knew did? The thought went to - What about those kids?

That idea went to - could I ever adopt a child with HIV, in a matter of days, people, I went from seeing it as impossible to wondering if I ever could.

A face of one of the little HIV positive girls flashed through my mind. Instantly and then gone again. I already knew that likely she would never be adopted, being older in the first place made it hard.

Today when I got in from work I went to the page and looked at her again. I found myself thinking - yes, I could do this. Then I opened up the links that led to Project Hopeful, read what was there and then I went back to the page again. Okay, I told myself, if this child is still available within the time its going to take to get my life together, I would do it.

Amazing. In less than a week, a change of heart? I honestly don't even really know what got me to thinking about HIV adoption in the first place? Except maybe somewhere a seed was planted that was getting ready to take root. Am I still scared? Terrified. I am about the most paranoid and anxious person I know. But there is this, I know to trust God. I know if this is what I am supposed to do one day it will happen. Am I saying I am committing to this child now? No, I am not. Right now, the physical constrictions of this world will not allow me to. What I am saying is my heart is opening to the possibility that one day, I don't know when, this could happen - for me and anyone else. You never know what children God will bring you. Don't allow fear to hold you back from those you love.

So what do you say we end the stereotype? HIV is a treatable condition these days and with the proper treatment people with it can live long and full lives. Lets give these little kids a chance? Think about it.
I'm a believer.

Here are the ones on Reece's Rainbow. The little girl Shannon, a bit of the way down this page is the face that opened my heart. Lets see if we can get her a home.

http://www.reecesrainbow.com/angelhiv.htm

Here are some more little angels needing families too:

http://www.adoption-link.org/list-of-children.aspx

Its only a start, but check these links for more information about HIV and AIDS:

http://www.projecthopeful.org/


http://www.fromhivtohome.org/


PS: I need to add that I mean no disrespect for people with this condition, in fact it is written with a lot of respect and hope. Out of respect for them and these children, please don't twist it out of shape and form, such comments will be deleted immediately before publishing to this blog. Thank you.

PS AGAIN: To clarify: yes, hiv is the virus that causes aids and they are different things, and living with one is different than the other. Thank you for pointing that out, btw. :D

I Do.

Hi All,

This is me, stepping out from behind the curtain for a moment. I am Debrah, single, early 30's - living in Arizona. For days, I've been trying to answer a question here I have been asked a few times. And that is not a bad thing at all, I am glad people have asked it.

And that question is if I plan on adopting a child myself.

I do. Funny isn't it, as that is what people say with their wedding vows. Those two binding words bring families together. My 'I do' in this case is followed by - I will. I will adopt however many and whomever God wants me to adopt. But at the moment things on this Earth are not ready for me to start that family. I am not by far living on the street but at the moment I am struggling to make ends meet for just myself.

I am already in the adoption process however with finding a place to raise kids, and I have found that place. I am sitting in what will one day be their bedroom even as I write this note. Next I have to find a way to not eat Ramen noodles and Spaghetti O's for dinner every night.

For me, the process began there - moving into a home with room for children. And I did it, that was my first step. That was a step I've worked on for the past year. I have kept quiet about it yes, it did not quite yet feel time to mention it openly or too many people yet. But the question has been asked and now at last, I can breath out, and say - yes, 'I do' want to adopt, and am already working my way forward with that goal in mind. My next is the ability to support them. I think I will have that accomplished by the end of spring or next summer - and then you might find the faces of my own red thread children on here.

I am feeling led to the US Foster System this first time, probably a six to eight year old is the feeling I am getting at this moment, minority group or with siblings. Its not really up to me as to who and when, you see. And though I don't know who or where they are God does know who and where they are. That said, I pray for my kids each day.

Thanks for asking this question. I do plan to, and I will, and am having to start at a few steps further back than some people do but, this is where my heart lies and I am working to make it happen.

In the meantime I try and advocate for kids like Valessa and Becky - Becky who is being sent into an institution this coming march. These places are horrible, they tie kids to beds, they leave them in cribs until their bones are so stiff they cannot even move and a rigor mortis like state sets in - for the rest of their lives. Once in they are in most cases no longer adoptable. And these are just a very very small handful of examples.

I am not making this up. I wish I was. You can find credible information on it all over the internet.

I don't want to leave this on that grim note. So, please join me when you read this in a prayer for all these children. About 7% of the Christian population alone can lead to no more orphans in the entire world. That's it. I read the site Over the Moon With Joy and encourage you to visit there. I have decided to join her prayers that adoption might be brought into people's hearts, that all these kids might come home.

And that is not to say only Christan's should adopt. Love is something that belongs to everyone everywhere. Its just to display a 'statistical measurement' of how few people it would really take. :)

Reece's Rainbow too, is a good place to start if you are looking for these kids. In the past two years alone they have found homes for over 120 kids with special needs and Down Syndrome.

Peace be with you this day.

Take care.

-Debrah.

[Stepping back behind the curtain now]