So, in the past few years I have been part of the adoption community there have been several things that weighed on my heart. One of those things is this: sometimes I feel like people are to specific about what they want in a child; not wanting to disrupt birth order or the child must be a girl, or the child must be a boy, or the child must be a toddler or younger, or maybe the child must be from China, or Russia or Ethiopia -- these are the things we want in a child, instead of letting the child be what God sees.
Now I understand that some families must set parameters; there was a family last summer whom had to turn down a special little girl because she was very 'needy' and they already had seven or so other kids, many of them with special needs. All that considered, from what I understand - the little girl needed more than they could give without it being detrimental to herself or their other children if they pursued her adoption. So, I understand it is sometimes what is in best interest of the child and everyone involved. But I want you to think about that for a moment; when you close doors to adopting one child or another -- who is it in the best interest of?
And then read the following:
"This post may not be for you.
I do not know everyone this post is written for.
I do know that this post is not written for everyone who will read it.
Who is it written for?
Maybe it is only for one person?
I don’t know.
And don’t need to know.
I do know…
“I was mute and silent;
I held my peace to no avail,
and my distress grew worse.
My heart became hot within me.
As I mused, the fire burned;
then I spoke with my tongue:”
This post is only for those of you who have deliberately closed the door marked “Adoption of a Child with Special Needs.” Whether at the first glimpse of this door, or after some research about what may lie through the doorway, you have closed that door.
But nobody is fighting over the “imperfect children.” Why is that?
Did you know the politically incorrect reality that in our attorney’s sixteen years of facilitating adoptions of children with special needs, God has so far sent her only Christian families? Families who treasure these little “imperfect” children as pearls of great price?
These families have rejected the value systems that push “imperfect” children out of the inner sanctum of personal life, the value systems that free people up to continue their valiant fight for the idols of personal peace and affluence.>
Are you one who has closed that door?
Please, write down your list of reasons why you have decided not to take the next step. All the reasons. All the obstacles.
I ask only that you leave the word “calling” off your list, since that word can obscure a multitude of disobediences.
Then pick out a child from the Reece’s Rainbow website. May I suggest “Steven?”
Don’t let that bouncy seat fool you; he was put in there for the photo. He was placed directly back into his crib afterward.
You will find him unattended, in his bed.
Now kneel down in front of Steven’s crib, one hand holding your list, your other hand reaching in to his.
Look into his eyes, and please…
…tell him the truth.
“I could be doing something to help you, but I am choosing not to.
I don’t know whether God has closed the door, but I am closing the door.
Your life is not worth as much to me as [everything on my list].
I don’t believe that God has the power to help us overcome [everything I consider an obstacle] that stands between our family and you.”
Did you keep looking at his eyes while you spoke?
You just thought you were looking at him.
You were mistaken.
You were looking into the eyes of the King.
“And the King will answer them, ‘Truly, I say to you, as you did it to one of the least of these my brothers, you did it to me.’
Then He will answer them, saying, ‘Truly, I say to you, as you did not do it to one of the least of these, you did not do it to me.’”
Please, kneel back down, look into the King’s eyes, and tell Him the truth."
I did not write what is in purple above. I re-posted it from this blog. The author found a way to say something that I have had a hard time saying for a very long time because I don't want to offend anyone. That's not the point of this blog.
The author is adopting a nine year old girl, who weighs somewhere around 10 or 11 pounds, I think, whom was left in a crib and suffered neglect simply because she had a special need.
Again, from my own heart now, this post may not be for all of you. I cannot and will not pretend to know the what you face and I respect that. But weigh your reasons. I will fully admit here and now; I was once one of those people -- once the only child I would have ever considered adopting would have been one from China. I couldn't see anything else. And then I found out that dream would never be realised because I did not nor would I ever meet the requirements to adopt from China, which I personally feel goes a bit overboard in what they believe a good parent to be is -- but that is a different post. So, when I learned I couldn't adopt from China I struggled to let that go. I thought of Russia after seeing videos of how the kids were starving and eating fish heads there -- and that dream to adopt from Russia or Ukraine or somewhere in E.E. settled into my heart after learning about the plight of people with special needs. Though I was still restrictive in whom I'd adopt; I decided I could not adopt a child positive with HIV -- that was where I drew the next line.
Almost immediately after making that decision I noticed a little girl before I noticed her HIV status. So I swallowed hard, and said ok, and did some reading and am happy to say that I found HIV something I could work with too. The next time I went to her page she was no longer available. But without knowing it she helped to change me again and to me the message is clear. I will leave the door open too, to special needs. And have faith that with God we will not be given what we cannot handle.
This has been a long post and for that I am sorry. I guess I am trying to say in all these words: have an open mind, and an open heart, to whatever it is God wants you to do; or whomever it is he may lead you to. And so I will sum up with what may be one of my favorite bible quotations:
"Do not withhold good from those to whom it's due when it is within the power of your hand to do so." -- Proverbs 3:27
Take care everyone,