The R Word Again

So a few minutes ago I read a news article about some parents whom found a picture of their son with Down Syndrome had been used by media in an 'offensive' way.  Apparently, their son had drawn a picture and was holding it up for the camera.  But apparently the image of what he had originally drawn had been altered to say the words "Retarded News".

How sad.  How low can someone get??

And the media station apparently went on to say that the segment "Retarded News" is designed to highlight odd stories and is not about disabled individuals.

At least all of that is what I understand.

Well, dear media station -- in my book, and probably the books of lots of people, you just added injury to insult.

From the News Article:

"Last summer, the group "Spread the Word to End the Word," which campaigns to end the use of the word "retard" to describe people with mental disabilities, contacted the radio station about the photo."

I thought it wasn't so much about stopping the use of the "R-Word" as a medical term as it was stopping the use of it as a derogatory insult instead?

Then we have the people who try and justify it, like it seems this media station did.  Or we have the people who try and justify it by saying things like, "I don't use it to describe disabled people - only (insert profession here)." 

That is not okay.

There is no justification for being rude, mean, and disrespectful.  And then we have people who say, "Oh come on, it's just a word."  And that is their justification for it.

But maybe these people know they are wrong and so they form excuses?  I don't know.  But I do know that more and more people each day understand this hurts.  This is not okay.  More and more people are stopping using this word as an insult.

To all of those, thank you.

Had to get this out here tonight everyone.  Talk to you soon.

Nine Years...

...I keep track.  My brain and my heart still cannot help it.  Nine years since my world changed forever.  Nine years since caught in a collapse that I had seen coming at the time, but denied, and with all my heart and body tried to hold back.

It was a moment that would change my life forever -- and these are not just words I type.  If what happened today nine years ago did not happen: my life would be drastically different now.

I did it wrong.  I know that now.

What you say -- does matter.

And I wonder even if I did it different if it would have made a difference somehow.  Or if, by the time this day came to pass nine years ago, it was far too late to stop it.

I was younger.  I was naive. But I still believe in the things I believed in back then.  The things I believed in were not the problem.  And I have difficulty feeling those things now.  But I am stronger now too. And will not give up on me.  I will not.  I will not give up on being happy. 

It is vague for you all and I am sorry. But this is a marker for me.  Getting it in physical lasting form that says I am still here.  I survived.  Its been nine years.

I read somewhere recently, actually on the blog of Angie Smith, something she wrote in a blog post:

The roots go deeper than you think
You only see part of the page
You are still a young tree

Effectively, that is what the words she wrote said.

They stunned me in that moment.  I needed to hear them.  To see them and read them.  They go up there to me with the 'No Truer Words' Catagory.  And this year... this year I needed to hear them.  And already I've been reflecting on them alot.

Would I change what happened then if I could?

I don't know.

I have learned so much through it.  Became a different person through it.  Met many other people because of it.  But I just don't know if I would change it.  Because I sometimes miss parts of the person I was then.

I survived.  I look back on it now and read the notebooks I kept back then, now.. and my heart just breaks for the girl whom I was when I wrote that at the time.  I remember her so vividly.  And all her pain.  It is raw and real there in those pages.

But she survived.  She didn't think she would.  Never doubt the power of prayer, family, and friends.

I don't really think everyone leaves an age behind them as the next birthday hits them.

Somewhere inside me, there is still a 15 year old that hurts and feels with 15 year old feelings.  There is still a 22 year old.  There is still a 27 year old... and so on.

And each of them make us who and what we are now.  That's what I think anyway. Who would have imagined then that I would come this far?

God bless, everyone.  Goodnight.

--Debrah
04.17.2018